I guess, at some point, we need to say goodbye to everything. Be it an idea, a loved one or a dream, everything in this life has a certain timeframe. If it didn't, how would we ever appreciate it's true value? I acknowledge how important my father was because I lost him at an early age. Had I not, would we now not take each other for granted? Would we not rub each other up the wrong way and constantly be dreaming of freedom and space? Did his leaving me in some way encapsulate the feeling I always had and put it in a neat little box, somewhere safe, where nothing could ever get to it? Maybe that is why we always have to say goodbye to that which we cherish, because it is the only way we can ever understand it. After all, isn't it only when something is unfulfilled that we keep with with us for eternity? And it was this evening, at Kimmeridge, that I said goodbye to today. I stood alone on the banks of Clavell's Tower and watched the sun slowly commit suicide. Between images, you can see how much it has fallen and the closer it gets to the horizon, the more it's colour bleeds into the sea. Slowly, the water turns red and it traces a line towards you, as if it knows where you are. Just before the sun took its dying breath, the spilt wine reached my feet and I managed to get this long exposure. I wanted something that portrayed a sense of calm, the complete opposite of everything inside me at that moment. As artists, if that is what we are, I think we are always trying to change the world. I have said it many times before, but we are not happy with what we see and feel around us. So we paint away, reshaping everything around us into something we want. We do it with colour, we do it with places - we do it with people. From the moment we are old enough to realise we are unhappy, we go about trying to change everything around us, even the things we like. We are control freaks, seekers of balance and order. It is only in the mind of a child or a kitten that we are ever truly happen with our physical and emotional environment. Age is the problem, it robs us of a freedom we never realise had been stolen. It is the cleverest of thieves. So we live our lives in darkness, never noticing that all was once lit. But it is lit, like a candle behind a curtain. We can see it, if we just open our eyes wide enough. The darkness has it's place, it keeps our dreams alive. Without the darkness, how would we ever appreciate the sunshine. PS - I have no idea why they are called goodbyes - there is nothing good about them.
Saying Goodbye To Today
